From Sunny Tunes to The Rise of W****!

~ From the Days of a Sri Lankan girl

Thought I’d say “hi”! I know it’s been a while since I updated you. I still don’t know what to talk about today. Atm, I’m listening to “Sunny” by Boney M. and enjoying it so much, even though I have only 29 days left to finish a whole-ass research study. This song is such a hype; you should give it a listen if you want to lift your mood.

Anyway, as some of my closest people know, I’ve developed a new habit of listening to podcasts. And by podcasts I mean the one and only Diary of a CEO (DOAC). They’ve set the podcasting bar so high that even though other podcasts look interesting, I don’t feel like tuning into them. DOAC covers so many diverse topics and most of them spotlight brand-new crises in the world, at least in the Western world and Europe: health, individualism, infertility, AI achieving superintelligence, relationship crises, female dominance, and more. Today, let me share my POV on individualism and female dominance.

When I was in 6th grade, in Citizenship Education we learned that “family” is the smallest unit in society. But now, that’s changed—I don’t know what they teach in schools these days, but the INDIVIDUAL has become the smallest unit. It’s very common now to see Gen Zs choosing single life or staying marriage-free rather than “’til death do us part.”

There are a few reasons for this. More people are opting for open relationships because they’re easier, less committed, no heartbreak and lower risk. And now that more women can achieve financial freedom, they don’t need men to be their providers. So the bar has gone up. Most women today are more dominant, smarter, and more powerful, with higher self-esteem than many men. When women search for a partner, they look for someone at their level or higher. Men, on the other hand, often look lower. There’s clearly a gap in the dating pool, and when most women can’t find emotionally, physically, or financially stable partners, they prefer being single over settling for instability. If you scroll Instagram, you’ll see so many reels of women sharing how they’re single and happy or women who have officially decided to be single—and it’s so true. When you can do everything on your own, why stay with someone who can’t even handle half of it and is still emotionally insecure?

What I want to say to all the girls is: don’t feel bad if you can’t find someone to be with, as long as you’re doing well in other areas (studies, work, health, etc.), you are more than FINEEEE! Don’t waste your brain power thinking and asking “why?”. It’s not because you’re undatable or unattractive. It’s mainly because people can be intimidated by your dominance. You don’t need to be a Charlotte York from Sex and the City, endlessly searching for a perfect 10/10 guy and risking the wrong marriage. Just enjoy your life! Embrace being alone! It’s so fun out there. Go do scary stuff! It breaks my heart to see girls my age who still can’t travel alone, make decisions alone, live alone or still need to get parents’ permission to go out on a Saturday.

To the men reading this: it’s time to learn to accept and appreciate financially and emotionally stable women. Don’t be intimidated by their strength and independence. Celebrate it instead. A woman who is confident, successful, and secure in herself is not a threat to you. Instead, embrace her for who she is. Be kind, mature, funny, and have high self-esteem for yourself. And most importantly, groom yourself! Level up and match her energy—because she deserves a partner who can meet her where she is, not one who feels threatened, insecure or put her down. Grow together, not apart.

If you asked me what I wish for in life, I’d say I want to be a Carrie Bradshaw (the Carrie before she got emotionally lost in Mr. Big), living in a small NYC apartment and writing the Sex and the City column while having fun with my three successful friends (Samantha, Charlotte and Miranda) or an Anna Wintour, a powerful, influential, stylish boss bitch! It’s so fun to imagine these lives. I’m so glad I moved into solo living at 22. It opened so many possibilities.

Sex and the City main cast ~Image Credit: The New York Times

In conclusion, although there are so many trending crises around relationships and dominant females, and everyone warns about them, I strongly believe that people should embrace their solo lives. That’s when you really start getting to know yourself.

So You Happened!☑️

~ From the Days of a Sri Lankan girl

Three days ago, my mom sent me her CV, asking me to upgrade it using one of the standard email templates accepted in the current job market. That was actually the first time I took a proper look at her CV.

Image Credit: Ice Roxas

If I were to talk a little bit about my mom, she used to introduce herself as a middle school math teacher until I was 12. Later, she became a Math instructress for Colombo district schools for five years. She was doing all of this while holding a law degree (LL.B). I have always been proud of my mom for who she was and still is. But I never understood why she wasn’t practicing law despite having a law college degree, and I never questioned her.

In Sri Lanka, anyone aspiring to be a lawyer must attend law college or an equivalent institute that offers an LL.B. degree over three to four years. After successfully completing the LL.B. degree, graduates must pass the Final Examination conducted by the Sri Lanka Law College, administered by the Council of Legal Education, in order to enter the legal profession. My mom hadn’t taken this final exam until 2017, the year she started preparing for it. She put in tremendous effort amidst countless struggles, and she finally passed, officially starting her career as a lawyer in 2018. We were all immensely happy and proud of her. Since then, she has continued to strive and hustle as a dedicated lawyer.

But one question still lingered—why hadn’t she taken the final examination right after completing her LL.B. degree? If she had, things would have been much easier and better for her. I only figured out the reason while going through her CV. She had graduated from law college in 1999. That year didn’t hold any significance for me because I didn’t exist—until the following year, 2000.

My mom couldn’t pursue her dreams, hopes, future plans, and goals as smoothly as any aspiring student would have envisioned—because I happened. This realization hit me hard and made me emotional. It took me down memory lane, reminding me of all the hardships both my parents had to endure because of my brother and me. Not just my parents, but all four of my grandparents as well. I have been extremely fortunate and lucky to have had such an incredible support system until now.

So, here’s a question for you: Do you truly understand how much your existence affects the people around you? The people who deeply care about you, the people who don’t know anything about you, society as a whole? If you didn’t know, now you do. But the point isn’t to worry about everyone and everything that demands our attention, affection, appreciation, or validation. What truly matters is prioritizing the people who prioritize us—those who are willing to move mountains and cross oceans for us, sacrificing their own needs and wants for our betterment.

How many people around us have put their dreams on hold for someone else? How many of us are living comfortably today because someone else decided to take the harder road? Maybe it was a parent, a sibling, a friend, or even a teacher who went the extra mile just so we could have an easier path.

So, if you ever feel lost, unworthy, or like your life doesn’t have an impact—pause. Take a moment to think about the people who have shaped your journey. You mattered enough for someone to sacrifice something for you. And that alone is proof that your existence carries weight.

But there’s something else we often overlook. It’s not just about how others have influenced us—it’s also about how we influence others. You matter so much to the people who love you that your actions, behaviors, and words can affect them deeply, even without your knowledge. Think about the times when someone’s small gesture—a kind word, a warm smile, or simply being present—made a difference in your day. Now, flip the perspective. Have you ever unknowingly made someone feel invisible? Have you ever been so caught up in your own world that you forgot to check in on someone who once checked in on you?

The truth is, most of us don’t intentionally hurt others, but our words, actions, or even our silence can have consequences. Maybe a friend distanced themselves because they felt unappreciated. Maybe a loved one is struggling, but we’re too distracted to notice. Maybe, without meaning to, we have become the reason someone questions their worth.

That’s why emotional intelligence—self-awareness, empathy, and interpersonal skills—matters just as much as prioritizing the right people. The way you treat others is just as important as how they treat you.

❇️So here’s my challenge to you (and to myself too):

• Be intentional with your presence. If someone matters to you, let them know.

• Don’t take people’s kindness for granted. Gratitude isn’t just a feeling—it’s an action.

• When conflicts arise, ask yourself: Am I truly listening? Or am I just waiting to reply?

• If you hurt someone, own up to it. If someone hurts you, decide if they are worth forgiving.

Because at the end of the day, it’s not just about knowing that you happened—it’s about making sure that your existence adds value to the lives of those who matter.

Image Credit: Thi Nguyen Duc

So yes, you happened. And because of that, you have a responsibility—not just to live, but to live in a way that makes a difference. ❤️

Cortisol Got Me Like... but Here’s How I’m Turning It Around in 2k25

~ From the Days of a Sri Lankan girl

Hey all, how’s it going so far? I’m sad that I couldn’t be consistent with you guys, but that won’t happen anymore. As I always say… hahaha!

Anyways, Year 2k25 has started and is already running. We’re nearing March already. For me, January was pretty bad—terrible, actually. I was stressed out the whole month. I wouldn’t call it burnout, although I was pretty busy until the end of last year. If you’ve read my 2022 New Year newsletter about burnout, you might feel like it’s déjà vu!

But trust me, I wasn’t burnt out this time—it was something else that made me pretty ill. As a result, my cortisol levels went up. At first, I didn’t know it was cortisol or what was going on. In fact, I didn’t even realize I was stressed. I just had a lot of symptoms and was wondering why.

Cortisol is a hormone produced by the adrenal glands in response to stress. It's often called the "stress hormone" because it's released during times of physical or emotional stress. Cortisol plays a key role in several bodily functions, including regulating metabolism, reducing inflammation, and controlling the body's sleep-wake cycle.

Here are some symptoms of high cortisol levels:

• High blood pressure

• Weight gain

• Muscle weakness

• Fatigue

• Anxiety

• Mood changes

• Thin skin

• High blood sugar

• Sleep disorders

• Constipation

• Easy bruising

• Increased thirst

• Irritability

• Round face

• Acne

• Nausea

• Difficulty concentrating

• Irregular periods

I had most of these symptoms, and for a moment, I thought it was PCOS.

Image Credit: Artem Everest at Unsplash

Then, two weeks ago, I randomly listened to an episode of The Diary of a CEO with Dr. Tara Swart. She’s a well-known neuroscientist, and I follow her on Instagram. She had posted about this topic, but I didn’t really pay attention because I never thought I’d be dealing with it. In that episode, she explained the importance of maintaining balanced cortisol levels. She also mentioned that hormonal imbalances like this are pretty common nowadays. That episode was a game-changer for me, and I’m so glad I decided to check it out.

Once you know what you're dealing with, the cause and the symptoms, it becomes easier to find a way to heal. I now understand why my cortisol was high, and thanks to that episode, I learned how to manage it. I started journaling, working out (just low-intensity workouts—something I can do consistently), and most importantly, I made some changes to my diet. It’s been really helpful, and I’m already seeing some positive results.

Also, here’s something else I’ve noticed. If you follow me on Instagram, you might have seen how many different types of work I do. I enjoy most of it, but some of it, I just forced myself to do. Last year, I was involved in so many events, volunteering, and different fields of work, which made me super busy. I spent all my time on these activities and research, and the rest of my time was used for leisure, like sleeping, hanging out with friends, and watching movies. By the end of 2024, I had so many memories and experiences but hadn’t tapped into my creative side—especially with journaling or maintaining this blog. Not only that, but I also felt empty. I wasn’t content with just gaining new information—I wanted more.

When I was listening to Dr. Tara’s episode, I was not just learning about cortisol, but also about brain health, neuroplasticity, and a lot of other fascinating topics I hadn’t heard before. This made me watch more informative videos, panel discussions, and talk shows like The Diary of a CEO. It’s super interesting because I’m learning new things that help me understand my lifestyle better, and most importantly, help me understand the people around me. (Some of my closest friends know that I love observing people and their behavior. At first, I would openly express my thoughts about it, but now I don’t. I listen and observe, trying to connect the dots about certain behaviors and what could be the cause.) Now that I’m exposed to more information about human behavior, society trends, and mental health, I’m able to look at people with a more neutral mindset and now it makes sense to me more.

So, my overdue New Year message for you guys is this: mental health is super important. It was widely discussed during and after the COVID period, but now, people have forgotten about it. We’re living in a time that’s even more challenging than COVID. Climate change is escalating rapidly, the city air is becoming more polluted, many countries are facing inflation, and while more people are becoming workaholics, more people are also becoming wealthy. But, despite more independence, statistics show that many people in cities are lonely and unhappy.

So, I want to emphasize the importance of taking some time off each week to do something you enjoy. For me, it’s hanging out with my best friend at our favourite burger shop to have a biggg chat and a massive LOL moment while enjoying that delicious burger and the wrap. It’s such a healing moment for me.

Image Credit: Javardh at Unsplash

Think about it, guys. Do any of these stories resonate with you? If so, it might be time to make some small adjustments in your life to make this 2k25, a great one.❣️

Sri Lankans.... Are you Ashamed of Sinhala?

~ From the Days of a Sri Lankan girl

Hi all, I know today’s topic sounds a little harsh, and I never thought I would address this in my life. But this has kind of become a serious issue, and it links with my current research study and has affected my POV.

Image Credit: Tharoushan Kandarajah

Let me start with a personal story. I am Nethmi from Sri Lanka. My mother tongue is Sinhala, and Sinhala is the national language in Sri Lanka. Sri Lanka is the only country where this language is widely used.

Since I was a baby/toddler, my parents wanted me to speak English (English is not one of the official languages in Sri Lanka, but most Sri Lankans are fluent in English). They think highly of English. One reason is that they believe learning English is “very important” for many reasons, obviously, and you know most of them. Haven’t we Sri Lankans written essays about “the importance of learning English” during our primary and middle school English classes?!

Anyway, the “speaking in English” mindset has become so extreme among Sri Lankans that we’ve made it the standard. Almost all events in Colombo (the capital), except for New Year celebrations, Buddhist religious events, and political assemblies and rallies, are conducted in English. Wealthy people speak English when they meet or have family gatherings. Doctors speak in English, job interviews happen in English, and employees in 5-star hotels, restaurants, coffee shops, salons, spas, etc., are trained to communicate well in English. This is okay; actually, it’s very impressive. But… we have reached a point where if we speak in our official language—Sinhala—we’re looked down upon. I was okay with this until I stepped out of the Sri Lankan bubble.

When I started living abroad, I met people from various countries with different cultures, traditions, and languages. One thing I noticed is that when these people are with their fellow countrymates, they use their own language to communicate. I have been invited to many events, lunches, and dinners by Chinese people. If the gathering has more than two people (the Chinese person who invited me and myself), they speak in Chinese—even if they’re fluent in English and even if there’s a foreigner with them (they don’t forget to translate everything for me and include me in their discussions). They simply give priority to the Chinese language.

At first, I used to compare everything happening in China with how we do things in Sri Lanka. If we Sri Lankans invite one of our foreign friends, we all start speaking in English just to make them feel included. And if you see a foreigner in Sri Lanka and want to introduce yourself or make friends, you go speak in English, right? But here in China, any Chinese person could come up and talk to you in Chinese. It’s okay; I can handle it because I now know the common questions they ask foreigners. I used to consider it a little rude because just because we’re in China doesn’t mean we know Chinese! (I personally want to be fluent in Chinese.) But for them, they believe that if foreigners are coming to China, they should be okay with speaking Chinese. That’s the mentality. Not only that, but Chinese people are very proud of their language. They speak very highly about their language, and I really appreciate that about them. We also need to start thinking about what went wrong with our own attitude towards our language.

Let me tell you another story. There’s this hair and nail salon near Tianjin Medical University. A Sri Lankan student recommended it, so I started going there for my eyebrows and nails (doing eyebrows is a thing among Sri Lankan females). One day, three Sri Lankan students came to the salon. Altogether, there were four Sri Lankan girls in the salon and the Chinese salonist. The salonist asked them something in Chinese, but they didn’t understand. Since she knew I was from Sri Lanka, she asked me to translate. The girls then realized I was Sri Lankan too. After that, the three girls started speaking in Sinhala. One girl asked me something in English (I can’t remember what it was now). My point is that they could have spoken to me in Sinhala. I answered all their questions in Sinhala, but they didn’t stop speaking in English with me. Eventually, I thought, ugh… forget it, let me go with English.

There are so many stories I could share about situations where people forced me to speak English or looked down upon me when I couldn’t express myself properly in English. Thanks to those moments, I can now express myself fluently in English. But the most burning question remains:

1. ARE WE SRI LANKANS ASHAMED OF OUR OWN SINHALA LANGUAGE?

2. WHY CAN’T WE FEEL PROUD ENOUGH TO SPEAK IN SINHALA?

3. WHY DO WE THINK THAT SPEAKING IN ENGLISH RATHER THAN IN SINHALA WITH IMPORTANT PEOPLE AT IMPORTANT EVENTS WILL MAKE US LOOK GOOD?

True, being able to speak in English is important, especially when doing things that require English. But that doesn’t mean we need to forget Sinhala, nor should Sinhala be looked down upon!

• There’s a common question I ask my fellow non-Chinese foreign friends:

“Which language do you use to speak to your family, friends, and fellow countrymates?”

They say, “We use our mother tongue.”

“Do you use English?”

“No, we don’t or rarely use English.”

Image Credit: Fredrik Öhlander

The value of a language goes far beyond mere communication—it carries culture, identity, and history. For us Sri Lankans, Sinhala is more than just a means of expressing ideas; it represents who we are as a nation. While English certainly opens up global opportunities, it should not come at the expense of our mother tongue. By embracing Sinhala, we acknowledge our roots and show respect for our own heritage.

Let’s take inspiration from other cultures that confidently prioritize their own languages. Just like them, we can give Sinhala the recognition it deserves in our everyday interactions, social gatherings, and professional settings. This doesn’t mean abandoning English; it simply means reclaiming pride in our native language. If we don’t celebrate and uphold Sinhala, who will?

So, next time you’re speaking with a fellow Sri Lankan, consider using Sinhala. Let’s make it a language we’re proud to use, nurture, and pass on. After all, preserving and promoting Sinhala is a responsibility we owe to ourselves and future generations.

Bachelors✅ What to Expect?!

~ From the Days of a Sri Lankan girl

Hi everyone, I know this post is long overdue, and I’m so sorry for not writing anything sooner. I’ve been extremely busy and haven’t been in the right mindset to write. Currently, I’m unwell, so while resting in bed, I thought I’d say 'Hello' to my dear readers!

There’s a lot to catch up on, but if you’ve been following me on my other social media, I’m sure you’re up to date with my life... haha.

As many of you know, I graduated with my bachelor’s degree this June (June 19th, 2024). Wow, so many things happened between 2020 and 2024! My life has been full of ups and downs, with countless memorable episodes. If I were to give a quick recap...

Image Credit: Unsplash

2020 September - 2021 September :

• I was part of Rotaract, where we carried out numerous community service projects. We even won the award for the best women empowerment project at Titan Games 2020.

• I formed a team of six, and we participated in NASA Space Apps 2020, where we earned the global honorable mention.

• I also started my own Chinese corner called 'Yu Yan,' though it only lasted a year. A big thank you to everyone who joined and supported it!

• During this time, I became obsessed with watching English movies and TV series.

• On March 6th, I launched an online business for customized gift boxes. It ran for two years, and I thoroughly enjoyed the time I invested in it, especially designing the posters (in black and old golden yellow) and creating the logo myself, which I absolutely loved. I was able to gift many boxes to my friends for their birthdays and special occasions, and I received a considerable number of orders. Thanks to everyone who supported my work!

• It was also during this period that I officially began advocating for animal rights.

• On May 21st, 2021, I was invited to be the emcee for the installation ceremony of Lions Toastmasters Club, D82. Although I had some experience as an announcer in school, this event really gave me the confidence to pursue hosting/emceeing.

• I also became an advocate for climate action, organizing my first panel discussion called 'CLIMATE ACTION NOW!!!!' where I served as the moderator. The panel included six advocates from diverse backgrounds, and we had over 50 participants for this great online event.

• And yes, I started this blog during this time as well!

2021 September - 2022 September:

• I was part of YOUNGA (the largest global festival for impact, using mixed reality to unite young people with decision-makers to co-create solutions for a more inclusive and sustainable world during the United Nations Decade of Action from 2020 to 2030). Through YOUNGA, I made lifelong friends from all over the world, and we worked on some really important initiatives!

• And yes... my 21st birthday, haha!

• I also worked as an article writer for Manthranaya Online Magazine.

• Around this time, I became obsessed with Elton John and his music. I bought his biography, donated to the Elton John AIDS Foundation, watched his biopic, and even gave a speech about him at a Toastmasters club meeting.

• I won my club’s International Speech Contest for the first time and made it all the way to the Division level.

• Then came the massive #GotaGoHome protests.

• As a by-product of YOUNGA, Zoe founded Suste.ph, an online e-commerce platform for 100% sustainable products. She brought on Gabriella from Indonesia and me from Sri Lanka to help bring her vision to life.

• I attended the Toastmasters D82 Ovation for the first time, which significantly leveled up my Toastmasters journey.

• I was serving as the Vice President of Education at Lions Toastmasters Club alongside our president, Hafsa Jameel, and together we did an excellent job!

• I also coached my brother to participate in his first-ever speech contest, 'The Icon,' organized by Chokolaate magazine, and he made it to the finals. I’m so proud of him!

2022 September - 2023 September:

• To put it simply, 2022 was a dark time for me. Even though I was doing my undergraduate studies, I had to do it online because my university wasn’t accepting students on campus due to COVID, and China remained closed to international students until late 2022. I felt hopeless and unsure of what to do. I even considered abandoning my degree and moving to Australia to start fresh (I tried transferring my credits, but it didn’t work). I explored various options, but most didn’t work out. However, the few that did helped me get through!

• In November 2022, I had a major setback during an Area humorous speech contest—I blacked out on stage. It was extremely embarrassing, and I struggled to move past it for months. Then, I received an invitation to participate in the club contest of Tianjin No. 1 Toastmasters Club. Since this club was in a different district and the audience was mostly Chinese, I thought it would be the perfect opportunity to rebuild my confidence. I ended up advancing to the district semifinals, which became another remarkable moment in my Toastmasters journey.

• I also became the Secretary of Tianjin No. 1 Toastmasters Club.

• At the start of 2022, I was actively trying to get an internship at an IT company in Colombo, but I wasn’t successful until November when I attended a career fair at Shangri-La. The HR from Infomate (the BPO company of John Keells) noticed me that day, followed up, and I finally got the opportunity. Although my time at Infomate was short, I learned a lot and enjoyed every bit of the experience.

• In March 2023, I finally made it to China. You've heard all the #ChinaStories by now, so fast forward to...

March 2024 - July 2024

• This was my last semester, and also the best one. I completed my undergraduate thesis experiment and began working on the documentation.

• During this time, Kevin gave me a keratin treatment for my hair. I video-called my mom to show her, but she informed me that my maternal grandmother had passed away. May her soul attain the supreme bliss of Nibbana.

• We celebrated the Sri Lankan New Year at Tiangong University, and guess who was crowned the New Year Princess?… It was me! It was such a special moment because I had never imagined, let alone dreamt, of being crowned a beauty queen or princess. I’ve never really thought of myself as pretty—I always felt I looked just okay, and I was fine with that. But China made me feel like a beauty queen, a model, which was never part of my plan. I love China for recognizing me as a 'beautiful person.'

• I was invited to the Toastmasters District 88 Conference as a guest speaker and was asked to conduct my own workshop. That was a huge honor, and I’m incredibly grateful for the opportunity.

• I also started the women’s basketball team at Tiangong International. We practiced for months, and in our final match, we performed exceptionally well. I’m so proud of my girls and couldn’t have done it without my friend Anya!

• On May 30th, I had my thesis defense—and I absolutely nailed it!

• On June 20th, I officially graduated with my bachelor’s degree. The graduation ceremony went wonderfully. Although I was sad that my parents couldn’t attend, my Chinese family, Winnie and Carmen, were there to support me. Carmen even made a lovely video, with help from other Toastmasters, to congratulate me on my graduation.

Over the past four years, in addition to completing my undergraduate studies, I've engaged in all these activities—there's actually more than what's listed here, but these are the highlights! These experiences were outside of my coursework and, if I were to reflect on my undergraduate journey, these are the things that I could recall. While I did enjoy my time in the lecture halls and library, I'm proud of how I've balanced it all and embraced every opportunity, which has helped me grow into a capable multitasker…

All in all, it has been an incredible rollercoaster. I’m grateful for every opportunity I've had and for the challenges I’ve faced along the way.

If you’ve read this far, let me tell you something…

Do everything you want to do. Try everything that sparks your interest. Don’t just think—take action! Even if it doesn’t go as planned, at least you can say you started something.

Stay tuned for the next blog post, where I’ll share how I got accepted into grad school right after my bachelor's!